When I graduated college for the first time I made a list of advice for people attending or graduating from Freedom Hardly Man. This advice could also apply to other Christian schools, and even any other university to a degree. After 5 years away, I dispense with this advice once again.
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Category Archives: Chuckles
May the Fourth!
33 Judgmental Church Folks Who Are Disappointed in You
33 Judgmental Church Folks Who Are Disappointed in You
Not Judging, just disappointed
1. This Old Lady
This old lady does not want to hear your excuse for why you weren’t at Sunday service this morning.

2. This radio preacher
This radio preacher thinks you should getty up for the rapture while you still got time.

3. This Song Leader
This song leader is a bit perturbed that you are dragging out “Farther Along” a little too slowly.

Jon Stewart Reveals the Hypocrisy of Fox News’ War on the US Constitution
Jon Stewart Reveals the Hypocrisy of Fox News’ War on the US Constitution
“You have Miranda rights under the constitution. You don’t need to say them out loud for them to become real. That’s Beetlejuice.”
-Jon Stewart
“I don’t care if she knew about [the bombing]. She should be in prison for wearing a hijab.”
-Ann Coulter
So god help us if the Muslims ever decide to form a well regulated militia.”
-Jon Stewart
2013 World Summit…on Lawnmower Safety

Brad Montague meets with Barack Obama on the nationally urgent issue that is lawnmower safety.
Why I Did A Competitive Amateur Musical for 4 Years—”It’s Makin’ Music Time”
In Henderson, TN there exists a private Christian college called Freed-Hardeman that once a year engages in an extravagantly amateur school-pride-boosting “performance art” tradition called “Makin’ Music“. If that rings a bell for you, keep reading. If it does not, you probably won’t get the rest of this.
In this competitive musical extravaganza, 4-7 social clubs (the sober, co-ed alternative to frats and sororities) design a 7-minute musical number suited for small children, the elderly, tools, people with a permanently sunny disposition, and alumni who forget that they graduated to start a career and a family twelve years ago.
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Makin Music Idolatry: “It’s Not About Golden Calves Any More”
So You’re Going to Win Makin’ Music?—Condescending Wonka Memes
Oh, you’re going to win Makin’ Music this year? Condescending Wonka shares his thoughts:
Lighting Chinese Floating Lanterns: The Importance of Following Directions
I feel it is time to bring your attention to the importance of following directions when releasing a Chinese floating lantern. I also want to stress the importance of the directions being properly translated into English in the first place.
My wife and I bought a Chinese floating lantern from an undisclosed website. The English translation for the product is “Light of Wishing”

The Conclusion to “My Week at the Full Armor Lectures” by Jeremy Marshall
“My Week at the Full Armor Lectures”
by Jeremy Marshal
the Shocking Truth:
From the Conclusion:
“When I wrote these, I wrote them
for children who were told that dancing is tantamount to sex.
For girls who were taught that their bodies were shameful by preachers who blamed Bathsheba for David’s sin.
For families where brothers and sisters were not even allowed to swim in the same pool for fear of arousing unnatural passions.
For those who have lived in constant fear of hell because of a soteriology that can only be described as, “Once saved, always in jeopardy.”
For those who have been deprived the comfort of the Holy Spirit’s presence in their life by preachers who told them that the Spirit dwells only in the Bible.
For entire families of preachers who have literally been kicked to the curb without notice because of a homiletical misstep or a personality conflict with a power-hungry eldership.
For those who have been told, “We will not even baptize you until you divorce your wife, because your marriage is unscriptural. It is better to break up your family than to burn in hell.”
For the women who have been “put in their place.”
For the LGBTQ family members who have spent hellish years trembling in the closet.
For the young alcoholic booted out of the Christian college without so much as an offer of help or treatment.
For the young man with a porn addiction who confided this to an elder and was threatened, “I’ll bet your momma would be real ashamed if she knew what you were doing.”
For the men with porn addictions who were told in the Open Forum of a Christian college lectureship: “I don’t see how it’s a problem. I love to go fishing, but if Jesus told me not to do it, I’d get rid of my rod and reel. It’s that simple, boys.”
I wrote these for everyone who has ever felt the need to pray, “Lord, protect me from my brethren.”


