“Excuse Me, Bob,” says my 20-month-old son to an elderly man one night at a small group Bible study, as he squeezes past his towering legs and into the kitchen.
Category Archives: Chuckles
“Bourgeois” by Lorde (Marxist parody)
And we’ll never be bourgeois
(bourgeois)
We don’t own no Capital
Owning property and controlling the means of production in a loop of privatized investment and
……………..unevenly distributed accumulation just ain’t for us
We crave a rise of the proletariat
Let me be your comrade
(Comrade)
You can call me Trotsky
And we’ll labor, labor, labor, labor
Let us share commodity.
Part the only of my review of _Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug_
“Benedict Cumberbatch sounds like a jaguar purring into a cello.” –anonymous
Smaug. Smaug. Smaug.
That’s what we’ve been anticipating. In short, he desolated. And so did Peter Jackson. In a few ways. Not all of them good.
To Re-Gift or Not to Re-Gift
I hate the title of my post. I think we’ve outworn all references to Hamlet’s speech. But I couldn’t come up with any better.
We sometimes run into what seems like a hard decision: I have a gift someone gave me. Should I re-gift it? Or is that tacky? Lazy? Untactful? Unappreciative? Selfish? Stingy? Inconsiderate?
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Whitman and Twain-quoted in color
Recently, famous photographs in black and white have been colorized using computer technology. Now some of our favorite historical figures can be seen in “true color” for the first time. In honor of that, I decided to create color posters of two of my favorite writers, quotes included. They now cover my desk, covering up the hole where a previous teacher or student must have kicked the desk in anger.
Twain
Whitman
Twain looks about like you’d expect him to. Whitman looks like a cross between Tom Bombadil and Santa Clause.
An Open Letter to the Plaquemines Parish School Board
Plaquemines Parish School Board
Instructional Office
1484 Woodland Hwy
Belle Chasse, LA 70037
To the Plaquemines Parish School Board:
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When to Use “Naked” and When To Use “Nekked”
Spelling question:
When do you use “naked” and when do you use “nekked”?
It’s simple, really.
Naked is when you have no clothes on.
Nekked is when you have no clothes on, and you’re up to something.
99% of the people you meet at Christian Colleges (stereotypes)
College is starting back. Some of you will be going for the first time. You will meet new people. Some of you are going to a Christian college, one in the south, like I did. How well do you know your Christian College stereotypes? Based on the famous “99% of the People You Meet in College” article (from which I shamelessly plaigiarized), I give you a list of possible stereotypes you may encounter at a particularly Christian university in the south:
[This list is meant to make fun of stereotypes, so if you’re offended because you think one of these describes you, this blog may not be suitable for your consumption.]
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Down in the Hemlocks—A Summer Poem
[This week we’ll be saying goodbye to summer with three summer-themed poems I wrote during the summer. This untitled poem I wrote last summer, shortly after the birth of my son.]
Down in the hemlocks
I brought my young baby
My boy in a blanket
And swaddled him there
Under the hemlocks
Down by the river
The cold stony river
Under the shade
.
[For Noah]
The Rime of the Anglyng Touryst—A Summer Poem
[This week we’ll be saying goodbye to summer with three summer-themed poems I wrote during the summer. This first number, based on my fishing trip, is a parody of “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.]
The Rime of the Anglyng Touryst
by Caleb Coy
It is an angling Tourist,
And he renteth a cheap rod.
“I’ve cut my shrimp in quarters.
Will I catch me a cod?”
Optimistic as the rising sun,
He casts out with a wink
(Because it’s all in the wrist,
Or so he’s been told to think).
He feels a little wiggle
He feels a little pull
“I think I’ve got a live one!
I’ve yanked him from the shoal!”
Alas, on pillars snagged—
It appears that when he cast
A wave brought his line inward
To the pier the hook held fast!
He gives a friendly wave
To a stranger down the pier,
Who knows what he is doing—
(That’s why he fishes here).
Then comes another tug—
“This time it is for real!”
A big knot he untangles,
But soon he’ll have his meal.
Perched above, a pelican—
Patiently it stares,
Chin tucked with the posture
Of a fasting saint in prayer.
[Dedicated to Charley Gwaltney]
CALEB COY 