NEW POEM—The Boy Who Never Laughed


Was once a little boy
A boy who never laughed
Never did escape no single smirk from him
No waggy-tail puppies
No Sunday paper funnies
No, never did he draw a smile or a sigh for them
When a baby he laughed once
A little reflex, they say
But that was just once and no more did he have
Then he learned to talk
And even learned to walk
And before too long they found he couldn’t laugh
His momma tickled him all over
And she took him to the toy store
Then off to the zoo to see the animals therein
He kissed a girl and she kissed him back
His daddy came home from Iraq
And still they never saw a giggle or a grin
The pictures he drew were all funny
At school he was the laughing stock
And when he told a joke there was laughter in his ears
They took him to a shrink
To see what they would think
They didn’t know why he didn’t ever snicker or sneer
He was made to look at ink blots
He was poked and prodded
He had to answer riddles with a helmet on his head
They brought him in some clowns
From the whole world round
Not a laugh in the morning, not a laugh when off to bed
Scientists came by
And even artists too
And the preacher came by just to play his little role
His words were well rehearsed
He said the boy was cursed
Oh, this here boy was born without a soul
They sold him to the fair
Where he was given a tent
For a nickel the boy with no soul was there to see
He saw a lot of freaks
He met a lot of geeks
And he laughed at those who came to pay the fee
He travelled out West
He travelled to the East
And he laughed and laughed and laughed at all he saw
After time elapsed
He finally collapsed
He laughed so long he up and died from his last guffaw
In Hell he was poked and prodded
They tickled him all over
He met the very men who sent his daddy off to war
The jokes he once told
To the devil were sold
The girl he once kissed married her a total bore
His momma had a daughter
She took her to the zoo
And the flock never again drank from the preacher’s cup
The fair came back to town
Folks gathered all around
And the boy laughed so hard the whole earth swallowed them up

I’m A Featured Poet at Contemporary American Voices!

I am happy to announce that the poetry website Contemporary American Voices has selected me as their featured poet for May 2016!

Three of my poems appear:



Happy Hour

Along with my work, poetry of my brother, Lukas Guard, and an old schoolmate, Allison Boyd, also appears.

English Teachers Of My Youth: Mrs. Humphrey

8th grade: I was a big dog on middle school campus. I felt both able and allowed to be mischievous. And throughout most of the year I had mixed feelings about Mrs. Humphrey, the short, stern-faced, saccharine, classically PTA-mom-like teacher of my final middle school year.
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