Category Archives: Chuckles

Are the End Times Nigh?

Posted by Caleb Coy on

“Are the End of Times Near, friend?”  No doubt this question is of concern to many folks.  It is of special concern to a few people, since it turns out a calendar from an ancient civilization predicts that the end is nigh.

Things are happening in the world. Things are changing. For example, things that were in one place are now in another place. Things that people used to like people don’t like any more. And things that used to not be so are now so. Well, to some people.

So then the question comes to mind: Are we nearing the end of times?
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Christmas Persecutes the Lonely: A Conversation with Scrooge and the Grinch

Posted by Caleb Coy on

“Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected” -Jimmy Cannon

Ebenezer Scrooge and the Grinch who stole Christmas have since reformed their ways and now attend a former Christmas villain support group.  They both arrive a little early.  This is their conversation:

Grinch: So, ‘Nezer, how’s the credit union management goin’ for ya?

Scrooge: Great.  I’m glad I left before Marley and Farley was acquired by Goldman Sachs.  Now there’s a name right out of a Dickens novel if I ever heard one.  How does it feel to be the first Green Santa?

G: Inspirational.  I really felt like I’ve opened up a lot of doors for minorities.  Or should I say, opened a lotta chimneys.
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2012: “The Year of Beards”— Why The Bearded Man Should Be Man of the Year!

Posted by Caleb Coy on

Without a shadow of a doubt 2012 is the year of beards.  Beards have finally risen to the pedestal of prominence they deserve.  Men, take notice.  Your time has come.

I propose that the bearded man be nominated as TIME magazine’s person of the year.

Observe:
Since antiquity, the bearded men have spoken.  Hear their memes…


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On Chopping Perfect Christmas Trees

Posted by Caleb Coy on

Last night, Noah decorated his third Christmas tree for his first Christmas.  Well, he played while we decorated.

Because my grandmother was allergic to evergreens, I grew up with a plastic tree we assembled every year after bringing it down from the attic.  Not until I was married did I have my own live tree.  Now I get to decorate three trees a year: our own, my parents’, and my in-laws.

My wife comes from the home of the perfect Christmas tree, a little town called—I’m not kidding—Spruce Pine.  Since we got married we would always drive up there and pick a Christmas tree from this nice guy who sold trees at a reasonable price, and even offered us a deal on grass fed beef (we had to decline—we don’t eat that much beef).  We’d stuff it in our Corolla, shoving it in the trunk and yanking it through.  We would drive three hours with a tree between us.  A child’s car seat prevents us from doing that ever again.
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No Cream Filling: Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern are the Same Person

Posted by Caleb Coy on

Rush Limbaugh on his radio show the other day:
“I truly blame the First Lady and her Socialist push for healthy food. This is all Michelle Obama’s fault, I feel as though a part of me is dying. We can’t let this happen! Not in America! We need our food made of chemicals and pretend sugar filled with preservatives. I don’t like knowing what I’m eating. Carrots?! Apples?! Strawberries?! How boring does this White House want us to be?! We’re not Americans unless we’re eating things that are bad for us. It’s what makes us great! I’m so upset right now I think I need go to a commercial.”
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Today I celebrate Las Casas Day

Posted by Caleb Coy on

I am indebted to James Loewen’s Lies My Teacher Told Me in the creation of this post. Please take the time to read it if you are a teacher, interested in history, or are curious about what people have told you about the world and how much of it is true.

I will never celebrate Columbus Day. Well, I never really did celebrate Columbus Day. I mean, what do we do? Not anything really. It’s a wasted holiday that should be done away with immediately, and there wouldn’t be anything to miss if we did.
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