Category Archives: Chuckles

“My Week at the Full Armor Lectures” by Jeremy Marshall Day 2 (pt. 4)

Posted by Caleb Coy on

“My Week at the Full Armor Lectures” by Jeremy Marshall
Day 2 (pt. 4)

from part 4:
“Just look at the logo on the dust jacket. This book was published by the once-sound, now apostate Harlan Publishing House. Let me give you a brief list of titles, so you can see what other heretics they are harboring. They’ve put out My Mama Sang Tenor, Too by the weepy story-teller Buddy Silver. They published the downright odd volume,Jesus and the Art of Volkswagen Repair by the so-called “Hippie Preacher,” Archie Klein. And they also released an awful book called Lessons I’ve Learned About Christian Living From Playing Texas Hold ‘Em, by Francis Spicoli. That Harlan Publishing released this book from Brother Jones is very telling–it means that none of our faithful publishing companies like Banner of Love or Full Armor Press will touch it with a thirty-foot pole!”

 

“My Week at the Full Armor Lectures” by Jeremy Marshall Day 2 (pt. 3)

Posted by Caleb Coy on

“My Week at the Full Armor Lectures” by Jeremy Marshall
Day 2 part 3:

“Good Brother Mack was shaving the other Sunday morning, and he cut himself several times. I mean he tore his face smooth up! And when he came downstairs for breakfast with several hanks of toilet tissue on his face, his wife asked him how come he’d cut his face all up. He told her he’d been distracted–thinking about his sermon more than he was about shaving. So his wife told him he might ought to think about shaving his sermons!”

“My Week at the Full Armor Lectures” by Jeremy Marshall Day 2 (pt.2)

Posted by Caleb Coy on

“My Week at the Full Armor Lectures” by Jeremy Marshall
 Day 2 part 2:

“After a wholesome and patently uninteresting luch at a nearby Picadilly cafeteria, I arrived back at the Doogood Ave. building about half an hour before Brother Mack Snipes’ lecture, “Hell is ETERNAL,” was slated to begin. I checked the lectureship schedule, and saw that the session was to be held in room 17 of the children’s wing. It turned out to be a classroom for five-and-six-year-olds.”

“My Week at the Full Armor Lectures” by Jeremy Marshall continues with Day 2 (pt.1)

Posted by Caleb Coy on

The week continues with day two, in which we scrutinize hymns.

“My Week at the Full Armor Lectures: Day 2”  Part 1
by Jeremy Marshal

From Day 2 part 1:
I told him I wasn’t rebuking anyone. “Besides,” I said, “wouldn’t he have to be here at the table with us to qualify it as me rebuking him? I just want to know why we can’t sing ‘Just as I Am.’”

“I’ll tell you why we can’t sing that song,” croaked the man with the hearing aid who’d been shushed for “Amen”-ing the evening before. “It encourages moral laxity. You start singing a song like that and people get too comfortable with being sinners. They’ll say, ‘If it’s all the same, I’ll just go on sinning, since Jesus will take me just as I am.’”

“My week at the Full Armor Lectures” by Jeremy Marshall

Posted by Caleb Coy on

Over the next week (or two) I will be reblogging a series of installments by my friend and fellow blogger, Jeremy Marshall.  As he himself will tell you, these installments are completely fictional.  I mean, no church would ever dare to limit God’s grace to the event on the cross, let alone mark hymns as “dangerous” that focused on God’s grace.

My week at the Full Armor Lectures: “Day One”.  by Jeremy Marshall
an excerpt:
Brother Olley continued this way: “See, God’s only just so gracious. You know John 3:16, that God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have e-ternal life!” Brother Olley’s delivery of that verse was rapid-fire; he can quote Scripture with the speed and force of a machine gun. “Now that’s all the grace a man or woman could ever need, folks!” He concluded, “And there’ll be no repeat performance of that, Hebrews 9:25-28. Essentially, the message of the Gospel is that we’ve gotten all the grace we’re going to get, so stop messing up! Or what? Should we continue in sin, so that grace may abound, Romans 6:1? Certainly not, because there’s no more grace to be gotten!”

11 Ways to Describe Tom Waits’s Voice

Posted by Caleb Coy on

If you haven’t experienced America’s favorite lacquered vaudeville rock beatnik carnival barking balladeer, you haven’t lived.

His voice sounds “like it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months, and then taken outside and run over with a car.” -Daniel Durcholz
Continue reading →

Peanut Shells and Bible College Lectureship Discussions

Posted by Caleb Coy on

The other night I had the privilege at eating at Texas Steakhouse, which is like Logan’s Roadhouse, which both have something in common with Five Guys and a Burger, which is my favorite of the three.  That information isn’t important.  Neither is it important that among the few lifespan-decreasing fast food chain restaurants I actually enjoy is Five Guys and a Burger.  On two levels, the burgers and peanut-oil fries are to die for.  I’m here to talk about the peanuts.
Continue reading →

_Blue Like Jazz_: the Book, the Film, the Thoughts

Posted by Caleb Coy on

“I used to not like God because God didn’t resolve. But that was before any of this happened…Jazz is like life because it doesn’t resolve. But what if we’re not alone? What if all these stars are notes on a page of music swirling in the blue like jazz?”

I came across Donald Miller as a group at my church were studying his memoir, and then as my brother introduced me to him.  Donald Miller’s memoir of reflective essays, Blue Like Jazz: Non-Religious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality, is a book that is refreshingly honest, complexly painful, and creatively provocative.  It successfully reaches both Christians and non-Christians as an audience.
Continue reading →