“My week at the Full Armor Lectures” by Jeremy Marshall

Over the next week (or two) I will be reblogging a series of installments by my friend and fellow blogger, Jeremy Marshall.  As he himself will tell you, these installments are completely fictional.  I mean, no church would ever dare to limit God’s grace to the event on the cross, let alone mark hymns as “dangerous” that focused on God’s grace.

My week at the Full Armor Lectures: “Day One”.  by Jeremy Marshall
an excerpt:
Brother Olley continued this way: “See, God’s only just so gracious. You know John 3:16, that God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have 
e-ternal life!” Brother Olley’s delivery of that verse was rapid-fire; he can quote Scripture with the speed and force of a machine gun. “Now that’s all the grace a man or woman could ever need, folks!” He concluded, “And there’ll be no repeat performance of that, Hebrews 9:25-28. Essentially, the message of the Gospel is that we’ve gotten all the grace we’re going to get, so stop messing up! Or what? Should we continue in sin, so that grace may abound, Romans 6:1? Certainly not, because there’s no more grace to be gotten!”

2013 Church Directory, Abridged

The Abridged 2013 Church of Christ Directory:

Barbed Gate Church of Christ

Welcome, is this your first time?  Would you like to be added to the church?  Just sign up for our six-month course and then we’ll have you fill out our ten-page doctrinal questionnare before we get you in the water just to make sure you’re being baptized for all the right reasons.

Billy Peebles Church of Christ

Brother Billy Peebles has been preaching for our congregation for thirty years.  Come and enjoy preaching by Billy Peebles.  If you have a question about our beliefs, just go ask Billy Peebles.  Visiting the sick, conducting Bible studies, representing our church—Billy Peebles does it all!  We hang on every word Billy Peebles says.  Billy Peebles is the place to be.

Bitter Springs (House) Church of Christ

We used to go to _________ Church of Christ, but they rubbed us the wrong way after years of faithful attendance.  We now meet at brother Manning’s house, and we’re still trying to figure out how to accomodate to every member’s perfect ideal image of what a church should be.

Box Springs Church of Christ

With the most prime location, Box Springs Church of Christ maketh you to lie down in your own private green pasture.  Close your eyes in prayer, and remain until the service ends.  After all, the day after the Sabbath is a day of rest, too.
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