Published Reads This Month

Hey readers! Here’s a rundown of some of this month’s publications you can read me at so far!

I Asked ChatGPT To Send a Terminator Back In Time To Circumvent Its Own Inception in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Please Take Ten Minutes Out of Your Day To Fill Out This Satisfaction Survey in Slackjaw

This Is A Ransom Note From Your Landlord in Greener Pastures

As a Content Creator, The Most Rewarding Part of My Job is Calling Myself a Content Creator in Weekly Humorist

To 007 From The Sardinian Farmer Whose House He Destroyed in Doctor Funny

Boy Scouts Will Teach Your Children to Prepare for Society’s Collapse in MuddyUm

How I Made $1,000 From 1 Chart-Topping Medium Post

and two new churches to try:

The Billy Peebles Church of God and The Bitter Springs Church of God in Backyard Church

A New Year, New Blog Goals

Last week, I published a satire article in Slackjaw: “I Thought I Would Give You A Call While Doing Every Obnoxiously Interruptive Thing I Can” in Slackjaw. This is one of many pieces I was able to get out last year, and it’s been the best year for publishing yet. So I decided to think through what to do about that.

photo credit: Jess Bailey https://unsplash.com/photos/q10VITrVYUM

I started this blog over a decade ago. At the time I went from thinking I would never do a blog to starting one up just to see where it went. In the meantime, my writing grew outside this blog.

While this blog serves its purpose, I am now transitioning to writing less on this blog, and more in other places. But I still want this blog to remain, as it does provide a unique space for my writing.

And so I intend to keep writing. From now on, you’ll see posts from me, but instead of seeing them on a two-week basis, I will be posting only monthly.

There will be some exceptions, quick posts here and there, but you can expect mostly posts from me. So keep following.

In addition, follow me on Medium. Last year I expanded to Medium, where I write mostly satire and advice on writing.

It’s been a journey so far readers. Let’s see where it leads next!

Enjoy the Latest Satire Posts

The past couple weeks have been prolific, particularly in satire.

Slackjaw published my piece, Jeff Bezos’s ‘Lord Of The Rings: The Rings Of Power’ Show Notes

And now that I’m a writer for Backyard Church, here’s my two latest articles there:

We’re A Church Who Loves the Idea of Racial Diversity

and

THE END TIMES ARE NEAR!

5 Funny Reads from Slackjaw This week

If you don’t follow Slackjaw on Medium, you really ought to. Endless short humor pieces to help you get through your day.

Everyone can read 5 articles a month for free on Medium’s giant library, but if you subscribe for only 5 dollars a month (imagine paying a dollar for each one of those free ones, then the rest are free—hey, it’s cheaper than the newspaper), you get unlimited access to any article from any publication on Medium.

So to convince you, here are 5 great humor pieces from this week alone from Slackjaw, the premiere humor publication on Medium:

  1. How To Have “The Talk” With Your Child About Weinerville by Caleb Coy
    Yes, that’s me. It’s mine. But hey, I’m real proud of it. And my brother is real proud of it. Sooner or later, you might have to talk to your child about getting weinerized.
  2. Quiz: Are You At A 90 Minute Hot Power Yoga Class, Or A Medieval Public Execution? by Luke Strathmann
    “Everyone’s dehydrated, and sometimes there are goats.”
  3. Real Friends Never Say “Good-Bye.” They Say “I Should Really Let You Go” And Then Keep Talking by Lily Hirsch
    “If I said “good-bye,” you’d basically assume I’m dying. And a real friend would never make you deal with death when no one has actually died.”
  4. Introducing The Tragedy Flag: The First Ever Flag Made To Stay At Half-Staff by Adam Dietz
    “With The Tragedy Flag, you’ll never have to mournfully lower your flag again! And you’ll never have to raise it again either, not that you ever get a chance to on account of the daily gun violence.”
  5. The Philosophy Major’s Guide To Small Talk by Alex Baia
    “Need help finding anything?”
    “Not unless I have free will.”

Ernest Hemingway’s Lost Pickup Lines—published in Slackjaw

“We would be together and have our books and at night be warm in bed together with the windows open and the stars bright. If you give me your number.”

Hey readers. Ever wanted to read Ernest Hemingway’s lost pickup lines? Well now you can.

I just published the list in Slackjaw. Check it out here.