Blacksburgia webisode 6:
Save the Curb Strip
A group of green activists have blocked the scheduled demolishing of a small curb strip that is soon to transform a 2-lane stretch of road into a 3-lane-stretch of road. Although the curb strip has only 400 sq. ft. of grass and three small bushes, the activist group relentlessly stands in the way of construction plans on every level.
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Blacksburgia webisode 5: Vegetarian with Fish
Vegetarian with Fish
Part I—
Frankie and Bridgette decide to eat consciously and visit Gillie’s restaurant. They spend twenty minutes figuring out exactly what kind of restaurant it is: “Vegetarian with fish. Ok, so there’s no meat, but there is fish. Yes, and there’s also eggs? Ok but that’s vegan, right? I just want to make a conscious decision. Are we doing the right thing here? Who makes your bread? Ok, so not everything’s local but some of it is? Which foods are local? Your potatoes—are they organic? But they are vegan. Your burgers are vegan too, right? What do they use? Where are the beans farmed? This fly in my soup—is it locally harvested? I’m still confused about the whole vegan but also fish thing. Honey, are we making the right decision here? Oh, there’s live music!”
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La Leche League Lactivism Litigation:
A group of women form a breastfeeding support group circle on a park lawn. A complaint is lodged against them because their group is offensive and indecent. When they prepare to argue against the complaint before the city council, we discover that the complaint is not actually about their “expose breasts”, but was a complaint from a radical feminist art shop owner who believes breastfeeding and domestic motherhood to be demeaning to women, and that society should not be exposed to such repressive practices.
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Hooptie Ride Ad
An ad for Hooptie Ride featuring drunken testimonials, including sorority sisters, frat boys, bar hoppers, runaway brides, hookers, two white boys who listen to hardcore rap and drink Fuze to try and sober up, a sassy 10-year-old on having a birthday party, and an old lady who just wanted to get to the airport to see her daughter.
The Hokey Pokey Rickshaw, The Mystery Mobile, The Yellow Submarine, The Purple People Eater and other magical mystery vehicles are shown cruising down the road as a casual rider pukes out the back window. The crew is shown cleaning the smell off the plush upholstery to ensure a pleasant ride for future customers.
“Warning: Good Times Are Closer Than They Appear!” Rides are 8 dollas a pop.
Calling all videography, drama and media students at Virginia Tech, I have a task for you:
In the tradition of Armisen and Brownstein, it is time to create the show Blacksburgia, and make it a YouTube series. I would pledge a sum of money (and help raise some) to finance such a project. The show will revolve around the adventures of two characters (for now let’s call them Frankie and Bridgette) who both are on the Blacksburg City Council and taking graduate courses at VT while investing in various small businesses. Or something. Whatever gives them a reason to survey they town with their quirky characters. The show would present less a satire of the community, but rather a fun house mirror reflection of Blacksburg and all other college towns like it in Virginia. The main theme song can be written and recorded by Wild Nothing.
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CALEB COY 