It’s graduation day, and thousands of seniors are sitting in Lane Stadium, relieved that they have finally taken all the classes and satisfied all the requirements in order to earn their degree. We are in the middle of the M’s now, about halfway through the ceremony. A girl—we’ll call her Alison Mellencamp—is called up to walk on stage and receive her degree. Before she can grab her paper copy and shake Steger’s hand, the provost halts the proceedings.
“Hold up,” says the provost, scanning the document in front of her. She glances up at the student with a stern look.
“It says here you haven’t hiked the cascades yet.”
The crowd gasps. The faculty grimace.