10 Reasons I am not a Hipster:

1. My bike has gears, and the maintenance I do on it consists solely of pumping the tires.

2. I did like the Avett Brothers before they were cool, but I also still like them, and do not believe they have sold out.

3. I have never voted Democrat, and just because I’ve been fair to Obama doesn’t mean I like him.

4. When I go to a coffee shop, I keep my shoes on, and my laptop off.  On most days.

5. Although I do not follow mainstream sports, I do not follow obscure sports either, and I can count the number of times I have played Shuttlecock on one hand and one hand only.

6. These glasses are prescription, and I got them because they were cheap and durable.

7. I have never gone more than a week on a diet consisting solely of either vegan food or junk food (you know, to be ironic).

8. I have some vinyl, but I do not have my own record player.  Yet.

9. I own a Coldplay CD.  Ok, more than one.  Ok, like three.  But I seldom listen to them anymore.  Wait, what am I defending again?  Oh, right.  So I own some Coldplay.

10. I have too many pairs of baggy jeans, and often require a belt. I think this last one settles the matter for good.