Ebenezer Scrooge hated Christmas.

“Every idiot who goes about with a ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.”

But that was back in the Victorian era, when Christmas was a small holiday that involved cheer, giving, and caroling. Not like today.

Scrooge was a miser and a misanthrope. But what he loved was money. If Ebenezer Scrooge lived in America in the 2000s, he would be madly in love with Christmas season.

Sure, today Christmas is all over the place. You can’t escape it. In fact, Charles Dickens is part of the reason it’s so huge. But he’s not the reason it’s so commercialized. Dickens wanted to spread more Christian charity and joy. He didn’t expect his novel to be made into countless movies, some of which made millions of dollars.

Ebenezer Scrooge would have loved to get his hands on that. This old man refused to donate money to a charity, and even said that if the poor died they would “decrease the surplus population.”

He shows his coldheartedness toward others by refusing to make a monetary donation for the good of the poor, claiming that the prisons and workhouses are sufficient, and if not they are better off dead, thereby “decreasing the surplus population.” But if Scrooge knew that donating to a charity could give him a tax write off, I suspect he’d say yes to it. He’d be sure to take it if donating money boosted his PR.

Scrooge admired Jacob Marley for being a good man of business. Had Marley lived today, and then died, he would be admired for his taking advantage of the holiday season to rake in some serious dough.

Scrooge also said the poor should be thrown in prison. Good news for Scrooge! In America, over 2 million people are currently in prison!

These days, the potential for penny pinching business men to rake in more and more seems endless this time of year. In December, Scrooge would see hundred of people charge money to their credit cards, take out huge loans, and just give him more opportunity to profit in general. Guys like Scrooge might even pretend to be jolly, and they’ll laugh all the way to the bank.

I’m sure he would hate the holly, the singing, the laughter and spirit, and the begging for charity. But he would love the money.