Read My Latest Satire Posts

In the past couple weeks I’ve had a few satire pieces published online. Check them out!

Lyrics From Abandoned Weird Al Songs published in The Haven

The Inconsistencies in Plot, Character Development, and Basic Rules of Grammar in My Thirteen-Part Fantasy Series Can Be Explained By a Phenomenon Known as Purple Manna published in McSweeney’s

How To Get Limited Public Service Debt Relief in 60 Simple Steps” published in The Haven

Yes, I Like “Rings of Power”

Look, I get the criticism. The creators of Rings of Power are playing fast and loose with lore: Gandalf shouldn’t be here yet, Galadriel is in Numenor for some reason, the rings are supposed to take much longer to make, and dwarves are singing to rocks.

I get that the timeline is off.

And to some extent I even sort of understand a part of you being ever so slightly wanting to scratch your head at the technicality of an elf having a skin color other than “fair.” After all, even Tolkein had a gene of bigotry that loved an imaginary Nordic race above all. (But we’ll come back to that.) Of course, it’s just as much canon to assume that elves have pointy ears, as this is said nowhere in any Tolkien book. Continue reading

Enjoy the Latest Satire Posts

The past couple weeks have been prolific, particularly in satire.

Slackjaw published my piece, Jeff Bezos’s ‘Lord Of The Rings: The Rings Of Power’ Show Notes

And now that I’m a writer for Backyard Church, here’s my two latest articles there:

We’re A Church Who Loves the Idea of Racial Diversity

and

THE END TIMES ARE NEAR!

5 Funny Reads from Slackjaw This week

If you don’t follow Slackjaw on Medium, you really ought to. Endless short humor pieces to help you get through your day.

Everyone can read 5 articles a month for free on Medium’s giant library, but if you subscribe for only 5 dollars a month (imagine paying a dollar for each one of those free ones, then the rest are free—hey, it’s cheaper than the newspaper), you get unlimited access to any article from any publication on Medium.

So to convince you, here are 5 great humor pieces from this week alone from Slackjaw, the premiere humor publication on Medium:

  1. How To Have “The Talk” With Your Child About Weinerville by Caleb Coy
    Yes, that’s me. It’s mine. But hey, I’m real proud of it. And my brother is real proud of it. Sooner or later, you might have to talk to your child about getting weinerized.
  2. Quiz: Are You At A 90 Minute Hot Power Yoga Class, Or A Medieval Public Execution? by Luke Strathmann
    “Everyone’s dehydrated, and sometimes there are goats.”
  3. Real Friends Never Say “Good-Bye.” They Say “I Should Really Let You Go” And Then Keep Talking by Lily Hirsch
    “If I said “good-bye,” you’d basically assume I’m dying. And a real friend would never make you deal with death when no one has actually died.”
  4. Introducing The Tragedy Flag: The First Ever Flag Made To Stay At Half-Staff by Adam Dietz
    “With The Tragedy Flag, you’ll never have to mournfully lower your flag again! And you’ll never have to raise it again either, not that you ever get a chance to on account of the daily gun violence.”
  5. The Philosophy Major’s Guide To Small Talk by Alex Baia
    “Need help finding anything?”
    “Not unless I have free will.”

New Personal Essay in Potomac Review

I just received my copy of issue 70 of Potomac Review. Some great poetry, essays, and short stories are included, as well as my latest essay, “In Maggie’s Shadow,” about my visit to a haunted plantation house and subsequently being stranded on a boat.

Order a copy here!

Here’s a preview:

New Piece in McSweeney’s

Hey folks. Got a new piece in McSweeney’s.

“I finally get to be my own boss. As soon as I pick up this guy’s laundry. And take this lady’s three dachshunds for a walk. And deliver this milkshake to wherever.”

check out my latest bit, CAPITALISM GIVES ME THE FREEDOM TO PURSUE AS MANY SIDE GIGS AS I WANT TO PAY OFF MY INCREASING BILLS AND LOANS.

Straight out of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.

You Can Listen To My Latest Story on Tall Tale TV

Readers, listen up!

Tall Tale TV is airing my latest urban fantasy story, “Butler and Barrie’s Wild Faery Land Stolen Child Carousel.”

You can listen to it on YouTube or as an MP3 podcast.

Don’t have time to read a story? Tall Tale TV publishes fantastical short stories as audio podcasts, the perfect length for your work commute, your dinner alone, or your putting yourself to bed at night. The site’s creator, Christopher Herron, has a bright, articulate voice perfect for pieces like mine. Many thanks to him.